


Feel Something Again

by DefaltManifesto



Series: 30 Day Song Lyric Challenge [23]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Living as a recluse in the middle of the desert changes how Stefan perceives the world





	Feel Something Again

**Author's Note:**

> "Defalt, when are you gonna stop writing weird fics about that sand-hermit Stefan?"
> 
> The answer is never. Sorry not sorry lol
> 
> Today's fic is based on the following lyric from Sober Up by AJR: 
> 
> "Growing up it made me numb/and I wanna feel something again"

The first time Stefan feels it, he’s watching Ike go toe to toe with a Hawk laguz. It’s brave enough for a beorc to take on a laguz, let alone while in the desert without any nearby allies to help if things get messy. It’s disadvantage on top of disadvantage. But Ike fights anyways and when the laguz is back in its more human shape, Ike makes sure he’s unconscious before heading towards the main fighting, leaving the laguz alive when clearly the smarter decision would be to kill it and in the eyes of most beorc, he wouldn’t have needed even that to kill him.

The emotion is curiosity, and it’s stronger than the flicker he’d felt when Lethe had stepped on him and drawn him out of hiding in the first place. He decides to stay and see if this ragtag group can draw forth anything else. It’s been so long, he’s forgotten what it’s like to feel.

 

-.-

 

The second time he feels it, Soren’s walking away from him, uncomfortable by the words Stefan had approached him with. Perhaps he’d been too direct. After all, Stefan could remember what it was like to be young and Branded, scared of anyone finding out the secret and terrified of what he’d have to do to get away and survive. Still, it’s important that Soren understands he can’t stay with these people. They’ll only betray him in the end.

The emotion is sadness, and it flares to life when Soren rejects his offer to come to the desert. There’s something keeping Soren here against all logic. Love. Stefan can’t remember the last time he felt it, but it’s easy to recognize in Soren’s eyes when he looks at Ike.

 

-.-

 

The third time he feels it, he’s dodging the dance of Homasa’s blade. Homasa is no master swordsman, at least not to Stefan who’s been alive for at least a lifetime and a half and spent most of that time alone with only his sword as a companion. Still, Homasa’s speed proves a challenge. He has to focus to keep from making a wrong step and giving Homasa the small opening he’d need to turn the tables.

The emotion is elation, and it makes his heart pound and his blood sing. After the fight, he collapses in the snow and shivers and shakes with it, his body overwhelmed with the now unfamiliar of experience of emotion so strong. Zihark frowns and carries him off the battlefield.

 

-.-

 

The fourth time he feels it, he’s facing Petrine with Soren behind him. Petrine laughs as he attacks and moves with the speed of a fellow Branded to ram him through with her lance before lighting up his insides with a burst of fire. He screams as he falls, the laguz blood within him, the lion’s blood, recoiling and seething as it reacts to the flame and it’s no wonder he couldn’t dodge. Everything she is anathema to everything he is.

The emotion is fear, and it’s like a shock to the system that he very much does not want to die, especially here, especially at her hand. It’s the strongest of them all so far. For so many years, apathy had ruled and the thought of death had meant nothing. Now, he’s terrified of it.

 

-.-

 

The fifth time he feels it, it’s when he’s helping Titania haul Ike out of a crumbling fort after his duel with the Black Knight. By the time they emerge, Ike is standing on his own two feet without their help and is back to commanding his troops and making sure help is going where it needs to be. The man had faced down his biggest enemy, an opponent Stefan wouldn’t have attempted. Yet he still held himself with an air of authority that kept his troops calm when any other man would have retreated inward to reflect on the events of just a few moments ago.

The emotion is admiration, and it’s when Stefan understands a hint of what Soren must feel. He wants to follow this man and see where he leads. Ike has something, a spark, that in all Stefan’s years he’s never been compelled to trust or believe in. Perhaps the world is changing.


End file.
